The other morning as I scanned news headlines related to human trafficking, I came across two – one after the other – that stopped me in my tracks.
“Ottawa police are trying to track down a 22-year old man on a Canada-wide arrest warrant in relation to human trafficking…” And, “A Toronto man has been charged with human trafficking for allegedly forcing a woman to work as a prostitute and living off her earnings. York Regional Police arrested 18-year old Jordan Michael Lynch on Wednesday following an investigation that began in late August”
We know well that the victims of trafficking – particularly trafficking of girls within Canada – are typically young, often still children as far as the law is concerned. But even my reasonably well-informed mind wants to imagine the perpetrators as older, shady, greasy, “other” men. Not 18 and 22 year old Canadian “boys.” Something has gone terribly wrong.
This month, the EFC will release a report titled Seeking Justice, Rescuing the Enslaved: Recommendations for a National Strategy to Combat Human Trafficking. In it, there are a number of recommendations to government – changes to existing laws that we believe will help bring clarity and consistency, as well as recommendations for a broader anti-trafficking strategy. The Government of Canada has committed itself to combat human trafficking, and we are keen to be part of the national conversation. Government can, has committed to and needs to act, to ensure that trafficking in persons is stopped across and within our borders.
There are, however, things that government can’t fix. And when I read headlines like these, I am painfully reminded of just how incredibly significant those things are to the fight before us.
What are we, as a society, teaching our sons and the young boys in our circles of influence that 18 and 22 year olds have accepted that it is profitable, and somehow justifiable, to sell young women’s bodies for profit?
We’ve written often at ActivateCFPL of how when it comes to prostitution Sweden got it right. They were the first nation to change their prostitution laws to punish the purchaser, not the purchased; the purveyor, not the one put up for sale. The Swedes also recognized that the battle was more than simply a legislative one. Along with changes to the law, they put in place a broad public awareness campaign, intended to change the way people think about prostitution.
Part of curbing the demand for purchase of women’s bodies is putting in place laws that punish the buyers. Perhaps the more vital part of it is tackling the very idea that somehow it is okay, tolerable, justifiable or acceptable to purchase someone else’s body for our sexual gratification.
In August, while vacationing in the Maritimes, I was privileged to have a great conversation with Life Radio Miramichi. In the course of our conversation, I spoke of the battle to have our prostitution laws changed. A significant component of our work at the Centre for Faith and Public Life necessarily focuses on legislative change – encouraging our lawmakers to craft laws that are just and effective. I also said that a critical piece of the battle is going to be changing society’s attitudes toward and perceptions about prostitution and prostituted persons. Because, clearly, far too many people just don’t see what all the fuss is about.
This is an issue we must wrestle with as communities of faith, because the hard truth is that there are people inside the walls of our churches who are buying access to women’s bodies.
Some of the men buying women are violent, misogynistic, cruel and predatory. They have no respect for women. And we need to make sure that there are laws in place to punish such violence.
But there are also a lot of “average” men out there, from all lines of work, all walks of life who are paying for access to women’s bodies. The truth is, we know them. We probably even like them, as friends, neighbours, coworkers, family members. And I don’t believe they are using prostituted women because they are fundamentally cruel or evil. I believe they have bought into two of the most insidious and accepted lies of the sex trade:
- That it is acceptable for men to purchase women’s (or girls’ or boys’) bodies for sexual gratification.
- That the women are available to be purchased for sex because they choose to be (and, what’s more, they enjoy it).
I shared on Life Radio that I was not prepared to think that if all of these ‘average’ men really knew and understood the horrific realities behind those deceptions, they would make the same choices they were making.
Unfortunately, shortly after the interview, I read a study (Men who Buy Sex: Who they buy and what they know; Eaves, 2009) that knocked the wind firmly out of my optimistic sails. This handful of quotes from the anonymous interviews with 103 UK men will make it clear why:
“I feel sorry for these girls, but this is what I want.”
“Look, men pay for women because he can have whatever and whoever he wants. Lots of men go to prostitutes so they can do things to them that real women would not put up with.” (emphasis added)
“If you go to the wrong one, you might as well be in a morgue, there’s a slab of flesh there.”
“We’re living in an age of instant food, instant coffee. This is instant sex.”
“It’s like renting a girlfriend or a wife. You get to choose like a catalogue.”
Even more disturbing was the admission by many of the participants that they WEREN’T in fact merely fooled by the façade. They often recognized that a woman had been beaten or burned, that she didn’t speak the language and seemed to be trapped … against her will.
They also found that the more accepting men were of prostitution, the more likely they were to also accept myths about rape, such as “women say no but they really mean yes” or “a woman who dresses provocatively is asking to be raped.” They also commonly believed that prostitutes were ‘un-rapable’, because, of course, she’s there willingly, and besides, is getting paid for it.
I have recovered from those moments of disillusionment, and once again, cling stubbornly to the belief that this mess is not simply a product of some unidentified flawed male nature. The statements above reflect more accurately on a failure of parenting, of education and of society to believe and teach differently. We can do better. We MUST do better.
This is without question a significant task. It begins at home, where we teach and model love, respect and value. This is more important than ever, in a time when kids are bombarded with messages from peers, television and the internet – many of which perpetuate the idea that people and their bodies are commodities. We need to be engaged, aware, and ready to challenge those messages. We need to equip our kids – not with guilt or thou shalt nots, but with truths and answers, so that our sons will be the ones strong enough to speak up in their peer group and say, no, I won’t watch porn or go to a strip club, because that woman is a person, not an anonymous object and I know well enough that what’s gone on or is going on behind the scenes is something I want no part of.
The marginally biblically literate will likely be familiar with the words “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
What we are teaching our boys about what it means to truly love, appreciate, respect and value women, their bodies and their sexuality will be evidenced in their choices as adults.
A friend and colleague of mine began to speak a few years back of what he calls a kitchen table revolution. This is the idea that maybe, just maybe, the starting point for real societal change is through the conversations we have around our kitchen tables, with our kids, our families, our neighbours and friends. And maybe, they will be reflected in our Sunday school classes; from our pulpits; around our water coolers; and in the classrooms of our nation. Too much to ask? The Swedes didn’t think so.